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Kanye “How Are You Gon To Be Mad On Vacation?”

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are officially married. Or they aren’t. No one really knows for sure but it’s a big deal and we’re going to report it.

A source tells Life & Style the couple obtained their wedding license and are officially married ON PAPER. Meanwhile, People claims the couple isn’t married.

Whose journalism do you trust? I feel like the edge has to go to People. They have properly identified the sexiest man alive for, like, 40 consecutive years.

No matter Kimye’s official marital status, we can all breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the REAL WEDDING — THE TV WEDDING — will take place at a later date and be enjoyed by millions and advertisers alike.