Top 5 Atlanta Single Women Red Flags

· September 1, 2011

Through the years of being single in Atlanta I met a lot of women who all of them had one thing in common..their red flags. In no particular order I comprised the top 5 red flags.

1. Complaining about the dating scene - This topic usually pops up when the “Why are you single?” question arises and I hear…

“I’m probably moving cause I don’t think I’ll find a man in Atlanta”
“All the men in Atlanta”
“Men in Atlanta have to many options”

From a mans perspective this sends the impression you had a lot of negative experiences in your past that your still holding on to. Obviously something about you said to those men you dated that you weren’t wifey material. All the single guys I know don’t brag about being single in Atlanta they are looking for a woman that brings something to the table end of the day. Would you go to interview and tell your future employer the job market in Atlanta sucks and your probably going to move to find a job else where?

2. Name Dropping – I swear on everything I love as I am writing this there is a woman on my couch talking to her girlfriend on the phone about going over Bobby Valentino’s crib seeing his piano,how he doesn’t stop singing….about her date with a 300 pound Falcons football player #OnlyInAtlanta. You never know who knows who and how close they are. I couldn’t even remember who many times I dated some one my mans and them already smashed. *Throws a red flag like a NFL ref*

3. Choice of dates – 1st three dates why are we going to your favorite restaurant? Is it your birthday or some kind of celebration.. if your really trying to get to know some one it shouldn’t matter if you went Starbucks.

You can find out who are the professional daters looking for a free meal when this subject comes up.

There is nothing worse then being on the x date and she doesn’t offer to pay a tip,or make any kind of investment in to situation. How you start is how you finish so if you never offer to take a tab,tip or even pay for valet that means more then likley you never will.

What are you bringing to the table?

4. Single in the city for years – If you have long unexplained gaps in your resume that sends a red flag to a potential employer it’s no different in dating. Being single in Atl for 6 months is equivalent to years any where else. You can meet half of the city in a short amount of time if you go out enough and if no one took you off the market there might be a problem.

5. Whole crew is single – If the crew you roll with every where is single and you all go out all the time then y’all need to huddle and start running some different plays. A lot of women’s single girl friends give bad advice when asked about certain situations cause they don’t want lose their single girlfriend.

What are your Atlanta red flag experiences?

  • Black

    number 1-3 is true testiment. I dont live in the atl but thats my second home and the dating scene is funny, fun as hell but funny. The first thing I hear is I dont mess with Atl men. Then my cousins will tell me “shawty is bussin my mans smashed already”. Damn I need to book my ticket lol.

  • Black

    number 1-3 is true testiment. I dont live in the atl but thats my second home and the dating scene is funny, fun as hell but funny. The first thing I hear is I dont mess with Atl men. Then my cousins will tell me “shawty is bussin my mans smashed already”. Damn I need to book my ticket lol…

  • forrest

    Ya number 1 is a epidemic in Atl,all these niccas ain’t sh*t. maybe it’s you attracting ain’t sh*t niccas like Katt said.

  • http://atlnightspots.com B strait up

    #3 is straight out the bible lol,thats real ish right there. That’s why I only give chicks one date,if she’s not paying or fu**ing on the next date….its a wrap lol. I don’t even give em a chance to hit me wit the “i wanna get to know you first” lol,okay date one was on me…date two is on you or you bending over for me lol…but she gon kick in some kinda way,strait up!

    • http://atlnightspots.com B strait up

      I’m sayn #3 really strikes home wit me lol. I just got through just yesterday tellin this youngin(21yrs old) about how she doesn’t bring anything to the table during her dates lol. Now she’s a very nice lookin girl,petite,pretty, and a 34d cup,but she feels all she has to do is sit there & look pretty….wtf!!!! I honestly told her azz she was a loser & the type of chick that dudes gon cheat on becuz she only has her looks to offer…*shrugs*

      • juwellz

        Its a girl I know who just like that, but she wont bring anything to the table. Not even the time to get to know you smh. And she wonder why she still single.

      • Hood Prophet

        @ B Strait, in all honesty, what type of woman is there that a guy WOULDN’t cheat on?? It seems like it doesn’t matter what a woman brings to the table these days cause niggas want to have their cake and eat it too. I know niggas with Michael Jackson bad females that got jobs, drive nice whips, cook for a nigga (and his company like myself…lol). The type of woman I would kill to have. But these same niggas right with me at Club Blaze or Dream Girls or PinUps getting lap dances or blow jobs in the back. These same niggas hollerin at females at Greenbriar or Lenox as if they are single like me. lol And all these dudes think they are “good men” simply because they are attractive (no rainbow) and got decent jobs and pay their bills. But one nigga told me that if he caught his wife cheating, he’d probably kill her and the nigga she smashin. And this cat had at least 10-20 women other than his wife. So as niggas we need to realize that a lot of us are unreasonable in what we want. We live in a fantasy world where we think women are here to honor, obey, serve, fuck, suck, and do whatever else we want but we dont owe them anything except having a dick and paying bills. That’s just my thoughts on it

        • http://atlnightspots.com B strait up

          @hood prophet, you a ILL NIGGA SON!!!!! You made pefectly clear points in ur comment & honestly I agree with them. There really aint a woman that a dude won’t cheat on….sad but true. But I guess at the end of the day all you can ask for is a decent lady…ie atrractive,compatible,trustworthy,independent and one who looking for peace & happiness,becuz too many women love that damn drama lol. But as dudes get older & wiser our checklist become shorter & shorter,i guess we finally stop living in that fantasy world you mentioned lmao. But my statement I made earlier about women who feel their entitled to a mans “special treatment” becuz they feel they are pretty & don’t have to contribute anything is still very true. The young lady I mentioned told me that her boyfriend did…..u guessed it..cheat on her azz lmao!!!! I bet that brought her azz down to earth real fast tho lmao

          • Hood Prophet

            @ B Strait, yeah some of these females live in a fantasy world too. I know I ruined some females in my past. Once a good girl’s gone bad, she’s gone forever. But I learned from my errors and now I’m not a bad nigga. But some of these pretentious women dont give me the time of day because Im not a college educated brother with a white collar job. Im a street and prison educated brother that works with his hands for good and not evil. So I’ll just hit up the allnite massage joints with the Asian ladies that luv me long time!

          • http://atlnightspots.com B strait up

            @hood prophet, man a chick doesn’t even know what kind of dude they want until they meet him. So just becuz ur job & backround may not seem ideal to some women,once they mess with you….things will b different lol…in a good way

    • Pretty Manny

      As a man if u expect to get a good women u need to open up your wallet. Im so sick and tired of cheap, new age men that think they can court women for free. Why the hell should a chick give it up to u on the second night jus cuz u paid for a couple of dinners. Wouldnt she be getting alot more if she was selling her body or stripping. You better be buying bottles of top notch premium champagne or seasoned wine to be expecting ANYTHING from her. Dang if you cant afford to take a girl out on a date then dont ask her. Now if she’s asking u then yes she should have to chip in, but if your asking then its on u. I do however think that a descent and honest woman will want to chip in at least for the tip, or dessert after a couple of dates of just u paying, because she’ll want u 2 know that she isnt trying to use u. But again if u want the old fashioned, cook, clean, take care yo kids, and support u as a wife “woman” than she isnt going to be cheap. Traditional women who have careers are still gonna wanna stay at home and raise their kids even if it means working on just a part time basis or working from home, so as a screening policy she’s gonna wanna know that u are able to support a family with your income and her supplemented income. So this is just an fyi some women are screening u to see if u can handle the part not cuz their gold diggers but cuz of the type of family life they want.

      • http://atlnightspots.com B strait up

        @pretty manny, whoa playboy you make some good points in ur comments but ur really a lil too optimistic about women & the roles they play when it comes to dating! Times have changed & damn sure so have the women. You have got to be nieve if you think the women aren’t taking advantage of their opportunities when they first start to date a guy. As a man to get a good woman you should ONLY have to be a good man,point blank period!!! This dating sh*t is a game controlled & manipulated by women for centuries now,but nowadays the fellas are much smarter & can see what’s going on. The whole she’s screening you for the future stuff gets no love. Every woman you date won’t be worth the money you spent on the date,and for that matter every woman you go on a date with, a man won’t be trying to build a relationship with her,he may just wanna smash!! But as a man you can’t just walk up to a woman & say “hey baby let me hit that”,so you gotta @ least take her out once. It’s not about not being able to afford to take her out a few times or being cheap at all. If the woman feels like she would do better(financially) by hoeing or stripping then that’s fine by me lol. So nowadays courting is free,u shouldn’t have to open up your wallet to get a good woman when courting her,all you owe her is ur time…not ur money! And if the dating process was truly about two people getting to know each other where did spending all this $ on chicks come from anyway? Why can’t we just sit & talk or go dutch on dates if it were truly about getting to know each other….becuz women know they can be wined & dined for free aka taking advantage of the situation. How many women do you know that would call a guy after the first date and say”i had a really nice time,i wanna see you again so how about you let me take you to dinner”? Not many,why becuz they know they don’t have to invest anything in this dating process but their time…its bullsh*t to their advantage. That’s why I say it’s one date from me,the next should be on her,or I’m smashing that. That way both parties get sumthin outta the deal,not just the woman!

        • Pretty Manny

          Let me ask u something, if it was your precious Portia that u were taking out on a date would u expect her to pay for anything on your second date?!

          Let me answer that question for u, the answer is NO. And the reason is because you’d make an exception for Portia.

          Now assuming your not planning on getting an arranged marriage, in order for you to find your future wife your gonna have to go on dates. And so its safe that you will date your future wife before you marry her. And so now let me ask u this: would u expect your future wife to either pay on the second date or give it up?

          If the answer is yes, then that tells me u place more significance and value in Portia, then u do in your own future wife, and future mother of your children. And if that’s the case then honestly it says SO much about you and how u feel about yourself. You shouldnt put people that you’ll never meet or who would never consider being with you on a higher level than those who will be there for u and will love and take care of you.

          • http://atlnightspots.com B strait up

            @pretty manny, lol oh ur a woman hahaha,no wonder you have ur point of view on dating today. Now to answer ur ? About dating portia & if I would expect her to pay on the second date then the answer is……yes!!!! And the same goes for my so called future wife lol. Why would I make an exception for portia?? She’s still a woman right? Even tho I think she’s physically awesome lol,im not one of those guys whos blown away by a chicks looks,ur personality & just every other quality I look for in a woman is going to have to be on point. As I stated in my previous comment no woman deserves for me to spend my money on them right away….no man owes that to a woman that he first starts to date. The problem is women are expecting us men to instantly wine & dine them for however long it is before they “may” decide to call themselves liking us & possibly returning the favor lol. Tell me this,what is so wrong about a woman asking a guy out & paying on the second date??? It’s unheard of nowadays becuz like I said women like to play these games lol. A real woman should be able to tell a guy “i got this one becuz you paid the first time”,that alone right there would show a man that this chick isn’t about taking advantage of your generosity in the early stages of dating. It would show that she truly enjoys ur company & a chance to really get to know a guy. And for the record…….i personally am not in love with portia lol. I do not place her above any woman in my life….shes just a fantasy girl….thats it lol!!!

      • Monica

        This is very insightful. You would have to have some sincere understanding of how a woman works to have made such a comment. Im not referring to women on the prowl but just a genuine woman. Im glad to see that there are some guys still giving women some old school credit.

        • Monica

          oops! My previous statment was intended as a response to ‘pretty manny’.

          • Pretty Manny

            Sorry Monica, but the reason why i know so much about women is becuz i am a women.lol. There really arent alot of men out there who think this way anymore and unfortunately its to the detriment of women everywhere. But if u scroll further down you’ll see Chi Captains comment, and he mos def keeps hope alive for this generation of men.

  • jake

    The whole crew is single is a definite red flag, then again it depends on what you looking for. Wife or Jumpoff.

  • REX BROTHASOUL

    #1,3,5,I HATE WHEN a chic dont offer to pay for nuthin after the 2nd date u selfish b8TCH PAY FOR SUMTHIN DAMN!!!!yea n the 1’s who say the men aint nuthin she meets is only cuz U AINT SHHH AND THATS Y U ATTRACTING AINT SHHH N*GGAS!!!!REAL TALK NOW PUT THAT N YO PIPE N SMOKE IT!!

    • Meyer Plansky

      free lunch eatin ass itches

  • ShowYAkNOW

    Cosign most of this except number 3, because it is true and unversal everywhere. There may be a good female that is single because niccas and dudes be on the faking also, Atlanta is the king of Fkers and flodging ass wannabe’a, add in a the gay dudes, fake rappers, and business men, and small time dboys, it only leaves a few or eligible dudes ,so cant blame a female for not jumping in a relationship in atl, but it is true if you cant pull a broad in atlanta, then you just aint got no game, (house wives of atlanta), but it is a two way street

  • Mike Lowrey

    Cosigning especially #3. One of my red flags is chick who got horror stories about all the cats she’s been with and the recurring themes of her relationships.

  • 4xtra

    These are ALL true especially 2 and 3.
    Atlanta (especially the night club scene) got some phony azz b@#@! FO REAL.
    I don’t know how many times I meet someone who sayz that they need some man to make $100k a year but they only make $30k a year, drive a NEW CAR, has an Apt with 6 roommates with NO FURNITURE and spends more on her WEAVE that she does on groceries.

    ATL is full of jump offs and nothin more

  • gogi

    well ive been here for 2yrs…i moved here after college. jamaican, short, dark skin & athletic. i look good. dont party much. but i havent been able to find a serious man here…hence y ive been single…ive dated…n yea ill talk about the men here, cuz i think most arent serious. ill go in on the second date, i dont mind…even on the first if we were clicking. n because i dont go out much, if they say where do u wanna go…i say u chose, i wanna get to know dif places in atlanta. im guilty of 2things listed #1, but not in the way listed…i have baggage..lol…i just think most wanna f#ck. n #2 partially…cuz if i see u arnd n u always in a chicks face n then come in my face…plz believe if i want to, im going on the date, eating and drinking and going home. seriously.

    Also I have 2degrees, currently getting my masters n make great $$…so um hell yea u better be above my level! sheeeeeeet! lol

    • http://www.atlnightspots.com Hahz

      @Gogi elaborate what you mean by being on your level? If you don’t ever see your self in a successful relationship where ever you live 9 outa 10 times it won’t happen that goes for everything in life. Visualize where you wanna be 1st. You could be giving off a certain vibe just based off what you think.

      Congrats on your accomplishments.. Just based off that last line you seem like the type that walks around looking down on brotha’s until they appear to financially qualify to be on your level.

      • gogi

        @Hahz I visualize where I want to be all the time. Im not saying it wont happen. Im saying i havent found it yet. and thank you. But let me rephrase that last part then, cuz i date whoever fancies me, so ill say this, bring something to the table as a man or have an ambition n be working towards it. Just the same how (some) men dont want a fat chick or a bum chick… women have standards that they want met. most of you guys laugh and riducule “non-dymes” -not presentable, and nothing much going on physically- wanting a man with the whole package who dresses nice, got a good job, his own sh!t and sexy body..

        • pimptyght

          Let me keep this real and simple: If you continue to meet “men” (keyword), who only want to have a good time or f%$ck, what does that say about you? Hear me out. Just like you stated that men need to put something on the table or offer a form of value, the same goes for you. 2 degrees and proper speaking habits are just fronts for “I’m stable”, but they they mean nothing of the kind. I won’t go into too many details, because I believe you are aware enough to figure them out on your on. How versatile, experienced, or open-minded are the men you are meeting? Do you have a sense of humor? Are you too rigid in your routine? Do you wave your credentials around too much? (Some men like the appearance of being in control, even when they are not) Try questioning men about things they have done or places they have been. Tell them the same about you. This will raise their level of understanding about you above the neck!!! Some “average” 9-5 men will actually raise their game if they truly know “what” or “who” they are dealing with. A good man who can entertain you and handle his own business is key, not the one who can entertain you with his financial success. And as far as good-looking goes, how many men end up with dymes and how many women end up with a built up super hero? Maybe 5%

          • gogi

            dont try to turn it around on me to say what does it say about me if the men i meet are mostly about effing. i read this site everyday and every comment on a pic is i wud smash skeet etc. even on the pics of a pretty chick posing properly n fully clothed. of course some that i meet arent gna say it straight up, but be real, that is why men date….to eventually have sex. which is ok..but be interested in me the person. n i dont wave my credentials around. if a guy asks i tell. simple. i will always and forever bring something to the table. but what i bring in the first few wks to months is sometimes not enough for the hit n runners to stick around..so they run before they hit. i will admit my lack of ability to trust is a major problem but i dont need a lesson on dating. thanks tho.

          • http://atlnightspots.com B strait up

            @pimptyght,yo bruh I’m curious to hear what you think about my comments above^

  • Chi Capitan

    I guess any of these can be red flags. However I must say that a lot of the single guys I know dont really want a relationship these days. It seems these days its all about a contest of who can run through the most women. I know guys who want to find a wifey type, and once they do its just about hittin and then on to the next one. Then I know the guys that are extremely picky and want a woman who brings all this and that to the table, but all the guy brings is a fork. So I just think it works both ways. My father was telling me that when he and my mother were dating, he paid for everything. Back in those days, the man paid and didnt think twice about it. I dont mind paying for the majority of the dates, but I do expect for her to at least offer. Most of the time I turn it down, but if she offers I at least know she’s probably not just using me.

    • Pretty Manny

      Exactly what i was saying in my earlier comment Chi, and i honestly think the world is what it is today because people have moved away from our centuries old gender roles. A lot of men complain about women not playing their part by cooking, and taking care of home, but they fail to realize their own shortcomings. If men would go back to being men, then women would go back to being women and alot more of us would be married for 30+ yrs. I like your mentality and can tell that you will attract a woman worth keeping, and i can tell its because u had a pops that schooled you. Unfortunately in the black community however many men were never given this type of training and are extremely lacking because of it.

      • Chi Capitan

        @ Pretty Manny I hope you’re right about me finding a quality woman someday….lol But yeah, I agree with both of your comments. A lot of guys want everything under the sun in a mate but aren’t willing to work on themselves so as to attract such a person. I know there are plenty of women like that too, but for now I’m focusing on the quality ones. And traditional values are almost completely gone. Some women act surprised when I do stuff like opening doors and/or pulling out the chair for them, as if they’ve never had a man do such simple things for them. For me its no big deal, simply how I was raised.

        • Pretty Manny

          Your a good look period that’s how it needs to be and believe me u keep it up and you’ll find Ms. Right. If ur wonderin how i know its because everyone of the happily married couples i know has one thing in common, they are both traditional, old fashioned souls living in a modern time. And its that foundation that keeps them grounded and sane.

  • CHIEFROCKA#1

    I definitely co-sign number 2 but I think it’s just the culture of the city! I know men and women who live here and name drop they asses off like they celebs and shit! And it seems like everybody f@cking everybody in the A! It’s nothing for a girl or guy to pass a cut buddy off to one of their friends! Great city, losts of things to do and a bunch of beautiful women but unless you are an athlete, entertainer or got major paper…aint none of these chicks giving you the time of day!

  • http://www.myspace.com/gphi2007 gphi

    These are some very good tips on what to look for as far as the type to stay away from goes. Plus, it has good job seeking advice mixed in. I think that men & women should read this, it’s educational on relationships & jobs. THANKS Hahz. PEACE!!!

  • LockABella

    Okay…I will say that numbers 1-3 definitely ring true. Complaining about the dating scene is useless and is a negative mindset – you attract what you believe. Name dropping is straight classless…mentioning people who are not involved with your current situation has zero benefit and create messy tension. Women out here are money HOOVERS. I myself, have offered to pay the tip or valet while on dates with men. Its the least I can do and I want to show some sort of appreciation. Shoot most of the time, they turn it down anyway. However, numbers 4 and 5 are circumstantial & a little biased. I think is highly unfair for you to judge a good woman based on “how long she’s been single” and VERY unfair to compare a chance at love to a chance at a career – they are two VERY different priorities therefore should NOT hold the same value in happenstance. I’ve been single for a couple of years now myself and during the time I have still dated. I also know that most women jump from relationship to relationship only because they like the THOUGHT of being with a man because they hate being lonely and feel they NEED to be in one, but are completely unaware of their true needs, wants, and standards becoming oblivious to their true self. During this time I’ve been single, I have grown to be more focused on myself, my goals, what makes me happy, what I expect, what I want in life, and also become fully capable of loving who I AM! So, with that being said, I think #4 is highly debatable because most women are single for good reason – I don’t want to settle NOR do I think its attractive to a man to see a on a woman’s “resume” that she has been in multiple failed relationships back to back NOT GIVING HERSELF ANY TIME TO GROW OR HEAL and gain love for SELF. I learned a lot in the dating scene alone and it has shown me that relationships take a lot of emotional, mental, and spiritual work. So before I get in one, let me make sure that I’m sure. #5 – unbelievable. If you’re seriously going to judge a woman by the surrounding of her “single” friends and NOT by her character & mindset, then you (and maybe several men in Atlanta who believe the same) are missing out on a grand number of good women. I am a grown (young) mature woman. I am an individual thinker – my single friends do NOT hold a stance in my decision making when it comes to my love life & men. Ultimately, I am the one who makes my own calls, regardless of WHAT they think. It is very immature for women (because I’ll admit they do exist) to go by the influence of the bad advice their single friends may give. MY love life is MY business and as I get older, I do not share a lot my personal business with my single or taken friends because it clouds my own opinion. Yes, I will listen to advice but I’m old enough to know what’s reasonable, sensible, and understandable. So I really think your last two are pretty unfair and biased, but this is my opinion. As of right now, I am however courting (dating) a man, as he is doing with me, and things have grown at a steady pace for the both of us & for the 1st time in a long time, he and I have spoken about the possibilities of a committed relationship with one another in the near future. I’m happy to have a clear understanding of what I want BECAUSE I’ve been single for some time and to have MY OWN opinion of this man WITHOUT the nonsense of my “single” friends. Thanks.

  • 504natl

    You should put this at no !.

    FULL TIME HO- SELLS ASS AND IS A NIGHT TIME VAMPIRE. MOVED HERE JUST TO DO SO. SHE EITHER USED TO STRIP/ESCORT, CURRENTLY DOES OR IS IN THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS TO DO SO. JUST GOOGLE ONE OF THE 10 NUMBERS YOU GET WHILE OUT AND YOU WILL BE SURPRISED WHEN YOU SEE WHAT THE RESULTS ARE..

  • sniperdoll

    the bobby valentino comment made me laugh. Been to his crib no he did not smash that man is very very weird!!

    • http://www.atlnightspots.com Hahz

      Did he sing to you?

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