Law enforcement officials in Ypsilanti Township, Michigan, say a 41-year-old man had apparently ripped off a sizable chunk of his own genitals with his bare hands while under the influence of magic mushrooms.

The unidentified Columbus, Ohio, man was picked up by Washtenaw County sheriff’s deputies after triggering the burglar alarm at Ypsilanti Middle School around 1 AM last Tuesday.

He was naked and bloo** from the waist down at the time.

“He mutilated his genitals with his bare hands,” Sgt. Geoff Fox told the local media. “He was doing a lot of yelling and screaming.”

It was later determined that the man had purchased what he believed to be hallucinogenic mushrooms while he was in town visiting friends.

“We’ve sent his blood off for further an**ysis to see if there was anything else, if the mushrooms could have been laced with something,”

Sgt. Fox added, noting that the man did not have a history of mental health problems.

Though his vital signs “were as low as they could go without being dead,” the man has since made a partial recovery, and is now in stable condition.

As if he didn’t already have enough problems, authorities said they intend to charge the man with burglary.

Via Detroit Free Press

  • Wild140s

    Someone sprinkled a lil angel dust on those shrooms. And/or this dude was a lunatic to begin with.

  • **@850 drivers license**


    License #:T12345678921
    Name: Kevin donahue
    Dob: 7/13/70
    Expires: 7/13/14

    Sex: no he’s a virgin
    Type: organ donor..(send penis to @mooron)
    Class: D

    @850 is the man on shrooms LOL

    New name: @850shrooms aka “snatched off penis”


  • 1luv

    This sounds like sherm written all over it. Guess dude thought his penis was some type of parasite worm and needed to get it off.

    • MoorDetroitRed

      I heard when he tossed it from his window @B Straight didn’t waste no time picking it up and pocketing it. Lord knows what he and @Queso will do with it later on.

      But smh Ypsi ain’t nothing but 35 mins from Detroit.

      • presto 2.5

        @850 musta got his snaggle tooth caught when serving you from his knees…

        **@Moor talking to @850**…”OUCH!…Bytch I said no teeth”

  • Big ALbert

    “________ is a helluva drug!!”